Hi, I'm Caitlin! Welcome to my blog.

Saturday, 22 June 2013

Where have I been?

Hey everyone!

So before I get back to regular blogging, I thought I'd give you all an explanation as to where I have been and why I have been absent for so long.

A lot of you know from past posts that in September 2011 I started studying Beauty Therapy at college.  Since then I completed my Level 1 Diploma in Beauty Therapy.  I could have advanced to Level 2, however I had a lot of problems with the College and other students studying, so it entirely put me off wanting to progress.  There were a lot of disagreements with other girls, a lot of them were much younger than me and a couple who were older just rubbed me the wrong way.  I now fully understand why so many women say the beauty industry is bitchy -- it truly is.  I have never met so many bitchy women at once and to put up with them for 9 months was torture, I couldn't go through it again.

In September 2012, I decided I wanted to try and gain the qualifications necessary to go to University to study Law, which had been my original passion since I was about 11 years old.  I've been through a lot personally, and I can relate to many things when it comes to the law.  I think ideally I'd like to do something in Family Law, so that I could help people who are going through the same things I've been through and show them there is something more after all of the hardships.

Alas, in December 2012 I unfortunately had to drop out due to health problems.  I wasn't sleeping much, I was waking up vomiting every morning and I had excruciating pain throughout all of my body, but primarily in my hands, wrists and knees.  Walking hurt, writing hurt, I couldn't do it anymore.  I decided I had to put my health first, rather than try and just fight through it.

This is where the real story begins.

A lot of you may not know, but I suffer from Depression, Anxiety and IBS.  I have done for years and I truly do my best to get through it, but lately it has become far too much to cope with.  I have also struggled with knee and wrist pain for years, along with just general constant fatigue and unknown physical pain, however in college it suddenly became a lot worse.

After realising I couldn't cope with college anymore, I decided I had to go see my GP to try and get an answer once and for all about my issues.  I went in one day, armed with a list of symptoms (don't worry, I won't list them) and said I'd like an answer.  I'd seen many Dr's over the years and they had all shrugged me off, likely due to the fact that I'm 22 and problems don't arise in people so young, right?  Wrong.

At first, they thought I may have Rheumatoid Arthritis.  They decided I didn't, albeit having a lot of the symptoms for it.  They next moved on to Fibromyalgia, and once again after doing some tests decided that I don't have that either.  My Dr is now thinking I may have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or M.E.  However, due to having many blood tests done over the years he can't send me to a specialist to get a diagnosis on either of them, because I have had very odd liver function test results for at least 4-5yrs.  All of which have gone unconcerned by the GPs.  The issue though, is if he sends me to a specialist they may blame my liver tests, so we have to get my liver checked first to make sure they can cross that off the list of my problems.

In January 2013, I was referred to the local liver specialist.  I wait 6 months and have finally had my appointment.  The specialist said he wants to do a liver biopsy on me, "urgently" as he thinks I may have something called Auto Immune Hepatitis.  Now, this type of Hepatitis isn't something you can catch, but it is when the immune system attacks the liver cells, essentially trying to kill it off.  This was about 3 weeks ago.  I've had an ultrasound, and they do say that my liver looks "normal" however my blood tests still show it being abnormal.  I haven't heard back on when the biopsy will be, or if they even still want to do one seeing as it does appear to look normal.

This is where I'm at.  It's June 22nd, 2013 and I'm sat here waiting for appointments.  I feel useless.  I'm stuck.  I can't go to college because my body physically can't cope, and I can't work knowing that if I can't manage 3 days a week at college, I couldn't work part time, let alone full time.  I'm in a battle with the government over money, and whether or not I'm entitled to it.

I'm tired, I'm fed up and all I want is to get better and have a normal life like every other 22yr old.  My only escape is make-up, it makes me feel just a little bit better and more normal.

I hope you all understand, and I promise to do my best at keeping up with this blog like I used to.  If you have any questions about this post, please feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer them all.

Love and hugs

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